Its not very often you hear the words “Advise ready to copy a phone number, we’re going to need you to call when you land”. To a non pilot it may sound like no big deal, but to this date, hearing that sentence was the most terrifying moment of my entire flying career.

I haven’t been around in the industry very long, but I’ve been scared a few times. Partial and complete engine failures, electrical problems, landing gear malfunctions, none as scary as hearing ATC say those few words to my call sign.

I was flying with a commercial pilot student training him for his multi engine add on rating to his commercial. We were flying a Seneca 3 on an IFR flight plan and we had just finished a simulated single engine ILS approach. In a multi engine aircraft we routinely train engine failures in all flight scenarios. This particular time we were training a very common tested instrument approach scenario with a little twist.

In my experience with light twin airplanes and flight students, I feel its a very valuable experience to be introduced to single engine go-arounds. Its one of those scenarios that are extremely rare, yet extremely difficult. Yet with the right training it can become a manageable event.

In the Seneca we are unable to apply ‘full power’ because of turbochargers used to boost engine performance. So at sea level atmospheric pressure the boost supplied by the turbos is well beyond the limit of the engine.

This brings us to our scenario this specific day. Approximately 200 feet above the runway on short final I instruct my student to conduct the single engine go around. In the blur of the action he instinctively added full power. This got my attention and my focus which eventually led to the near deviation. While on the climb out I focused on ensuring no damage was suffered from the operating engine. This was not only going to be a lesson for the student, but for me as well.

We had been given clearance to 2000 feet and to fly a heading of near due south. During the climb out my attention stayed focused on the engine instruments and I failed to monitor my student closely enough to catch his climb right through our altitude. I contacted ATC to query if we were cleared to 3000(praying we were). Nope.

Power came to idle and the nose pitched down as I dropped the aircraft back to our assigned altitude as quickly as I could. The deviation from our assigned altitude was the largest deviation I had ever allowed to happen during my flight training, let alone my time as an instructor. ATC made no comment at the time and we continued on our flight.

A few minutes later we got the call.

“Seneca, advise ready to copy a phone number. Possible pilot deviation resulting in a loss of separation. We will need to investigate, and you will need to contact us when you land.”

This invoked a complete wave of terror and panic. I began thinking of how this would affect the rest of my flying career. I was unsure of what the consequences would be, unsure of what to expect and completely clueless of what to do.

I could think of nothing else but what would happen when I landed and called the number I just wrote down.

After an uneventful completion of the flight, I made the dreaded phone call. I talked with the supervisor and he advised me that it was a possibility that a pilot deviation could result from the event. He mentioned he has some more internal investigating to do and he would call me back if a deviation would not result. So here I sat and waiting in terror wondering what could possibly happen if I actually received a pilot deviation.

A few minutes later, actually quite short period of time, he called me back.

No pilot deviation would result. A wave of relief as intense as the wave of terror I felt when I first heard the words over the radio…

My controls. This phrase can have so many different connotations and tones. I've said this phrase in good will and good manner, and even fear or anger. I've used it to correct mistakes, maneuver the aircraft away from WAY TO CLOSE traffic, or demonstrate what I'm trying to convey to the student. Today I used it calmly after my single engine airplane started getting a little too quiet.

In every pilots dreams, or nightmares rather, I think we all hope for and wish that if any adversity or difficulty strikes, we handle it calmly and professionally. It's sure easy to look back on something that turned out to be no big deal and brag, "I had it under control the whole time". Regardless of truth or lie, I think sub-consciously we want to believe we did.

Today I experienced a power loss and engine roughness while departing the pattern. I was a few short miles away from my airport and climbing smoothly through 2000 feet when it happened. I had been here before, a lot closer to the ground previously, but very similar indications. Inconsistent power output, roughness, vibrations, fear. Through my training, and experience as a flight instructor, I've become pretty comfortable in the aircraft I fly. However, when a single engine airplane starts acting like a glider, you get uncomfortable.

Once I glanced at the tachometer to confirm a reduction in power, I said the magic words.

My controls.

I had plenty of altitude for a return to the airport, I felt like I still had at least partial power for the moment. I turned for the airport and informed the tower. I don't think it came out as smooth or as debonair as I had dreamt. My voice was probably shaking noticeably, and I probably stumbled over a few words. Power loss. Emergency. Return to the airport. These aren't words I say very often outside of a controlled training session.

I did everything the checklist wanted me to do. Nothing was working, power was still reduced, engine vibration more than usual, this was starting to sink in. This engine could fail completely any second. Fortunately for me it didn't, and the landing was uneventful. In fact, it makes me feel like an idiot when I land with 'engine trouble' and then taxi to the ramp under my own power. I often wonder if the controllers laugh at that.

Today just emphasizes to me how important it is to just fly the aircraft. In an emergency no matter how big or small the problem, there is never anything more important than maintaining positive aircraft control and flying the aircraft. Teach your students to be calm, and trust the training they received. Follow the checklists, fly the aircraft, and get whatever assistance ATC can offer.

After much deliberation and debate, and excellent input from friends, I’ve decided what to make of the next 5 years of my life.

Talking with the head honcho of SAT(Swiss Aviation Training), he expressed interest in still giving me a job. However now a few of the details have changed. What hasn’t changed is that they want to get my ATPL exams done and to learn some basic German.

However now they want me to finish my ATPL exams AND learn basic German BEFORE anything else. On top of that they want me to pay for the exams and the language lessons. Which when compared to what they’re going to pay for(travel to Switzerland, Flight training, medical examination, etc) it’s NOTHING even at the $4000 ish price tag.

I’m trying to finish this by the end of the year. Which means I need to finish my US ATP, 14 ATPL exams, learn German, and not kill myself. I’m sort of excited to see if I can actually do it.

So, I have another meeting tomorrow about some more details of the training. For now I’m enjoying the last few days of my free time. I don’t expect I’ll be doing much other than studying, studying, studying. Oh and sounding like an idiot trying to speak German.

Wunderbar.

I really, truly, never thought I would ever have this debate with myself.

Should I stay in aviation, or should I go find something else to do that I can actually make money with?

I use to scoff at people who lacked the decisiveness to make a career choice, after all I had my entire life planned out. Or at least the first 5 years after I started my flight training. Here I sit at year 4 from when I moved to Florida and now I myself sit at the proverbial ‘fork in the road’.

Dammit.

I have some options still. I can stay where I’m at. I can move to Switzerland(maybe- dependent on approval of a Visa) and continue instructing. I could move anywhere in the US to a different aviation job, that is if I could actually find one. I could move anywhere in the US to a different job altogether, that is if I could actually find one.

I’m getting slightly frustrated with where aviation has left me. Just enough income to survive, not enough income to actually thrive. Breaking even every month is a blessing, and going negative is nearly a guarantee each month.

Main factor here is work. Since October’ish I’ve been primarily conducting stage checks. It’s been an interesting road of ‘WTF did you just say/do?’ to ‘WOW you can fly my kids around any day’. The experience gained from this has been beyond any stretch of the imagination. My knowledge level was good before I started, but it’s just ridiculous what I know now(even though I still know nothing). However, after all this ‘rainbows and lollipops’ talk of how superb doing stage checks is, there is a dark side. It’s boring, it’s repetitive, sometimes can be mindless, and I don’t make nearly as much.

I want to be in a position that I don’t have to be AT WORK to make money. That’s not possible in the career field I’ve chosen, I know this. I would love to fly professionally for FUN. On the side, in addition to whatever else it is I can do. I just don’t know what that is yet.

I feel like the decisions I make in the next few months and the next year, will determine what I’m going to be doing for the next 25 years of my life. I don’t know about you, but that’s a lot of pressure for a few seemingly easy decisions! What’s more important? What will I be happy with when I’m on the edge of my death bed? Why am I even thinking about this? Who even reads this?