Year: 2006

This week I have started doing commercial ground school. I still haven't finished my instrument flying, but I'm trying to finish while I'm in class. I only have 5 flights left in my instrument training.

The instrument training has been going really well for me. Besides having some minor issues with memory items, such as checklists, and when to do sequenced events, I'm doing really well. Most of my flights have gone fairly smoothly, with minor hiccups.

I'm currently waiting for a new instructor again. This is only about the tenth instructor I've had while training here. My current instructor is starting a program that takes up pretty much all her time. She will be instructing contract students with an airline, and will be unable to carry 'normal' students like myself.

If there is one thing that I can say nobody here likes, it would be the contract students. Basically they are treated the way you would think yourself deserves to be treated. They are given priority over other students, and they seem to be scheduled much differently. It is very aggravating to lose instructors, or scheduled time to these students.

Commercial ground school so far is a very basic review of what I learned in private pilot ground school about a year ago. I'm still waiting to be challenged in this class. I'm the type of person who can't stand listening to something over and over again. I know I've said it before, that sometimes the ground schools feel very repeated. This is still the case with commercial ground school.

I guess this is what you have to put up with at most 141 schools. Perhaps the lower flight time requirements make up for my torture in this class. I sure hope so.

I have started to do my actual IFR flying last week. It's a completely incredible experience. After a year of flight training, I'm finally doing the kind of flying professionals do! It's really exciting to be in the IFR environment, and doing all the things I have learned so much about.

I have had two flights so far, and they have gone extremely well. I haven't had any major issues yet. My instructor is pleased with my progress, and I feel like I'm making progress every day.

Currently I'm on track to be done with my instrument rating by the end of the month.

We'll see! 🙂

Earlier this week I had my step 4a oral exam, and today I completed my flight.

The oral was fairly basic, questions about BAI, instrument construction, and how they work. I don't think it lasted longer than thirty minutes, and was fairly straightforward. Due to weather I was unable to complete the flight at that time. This morning I was scheduled for the flight, and have just completed it.

The main things that I was really worried I wouldn't be able to do(specifically: compass turns, partial panel), I was rock solid on. I thought myself through each one of the situations presented, and just did it. In fact I even had it right, but said it wrong. He asked me to track inbound to an NDB, and I did the intercept calculation correctly, and started turning the proper way, but said the opposite. He asked me why I said 'right turn' but turned the correct way of left. I don't know. heh.

In the end, there were only two problems, and they were minimal. He said I fly the plane very well, and that I should do fine in IFR flying.

I'm excited, re-motivated, and have some self confidence back. Next week will be mostly ground lessons with my instructor, and some flight simulator work. Maybe by the end of the week I'll have my first IFR flight!

Well it's been over a year since I fell in love with Morgan. Since then I've told her how I felt, and it never really went over well. Just looking over some of my previous entries got me thinking about the situation.

It seemed every time I told her, she would threaten our friendship. I'm not sure if that's a defense mechanism, or if she just really doesn't feel anything about me. I thought for a while I actually had a chance with this woman.

Just the same as when I visited for Christmas, the last time I visited went equally bad. Just thinking back about what transpired between me and her, I cringe. I can never say the right thing, and when I try to be honest, it just fucks me.

I spent a lot of time being depressed about the whole thing again. Cried a lot, got drunk a lot. Same old story. My parents think I'm nuts for even stressing about this crap. To an extent I agree. People have been telling me for nearly a year(the entire time) that it's a bad idea. I think it's my personality. I don't think of a relationship as purely physical, or just a fling. I'm always thinking long term. I have the desire for the physicality, but I fall in love too easily. I take things for granted, and just over analyze things.

I had an almost one night stand with a girl in Florida, and the next week I was all stressed out, and tweaked hardcore about it. My friend warned me it would be an issue, and it wasn't at first. I'm not sure if it's because I haven't had a lot of relationships, or maybe I'm just naive? I don't know.

Kari is still a mystery to me. I can't make up my mind about her. I know I'm still in love with her. I think I'm just in denial about the whole thing. I'm convinced I need to move on. I feel that if I don't experience something different, I'll live with a regret. Yet I feel that I'm letting go of something so pure and wonderful. I have love, and I'm choosing to find love.

It's like a forbidden fruit or something. Every time I see her, It's too much to bear. I have to kiss her, hold her, touch her. Anything. I want to explore new relationships, but I can't stand the thought of her having a relationship. I think that's a little messed up. Maybe I need therapy. That might help me with a lot of things.

I haven't made any progress in finding my birth parents. I think my parents are too busy to even think about it. I need to make progress with this. If something happens to them, I won't be able to live with myself for not getting it taken care of in time. I'm so excited to talk to my mother. It's dizzying how much I want to meet her.

My flying has been getting a little better. I think I'm actually making progress with some of it. I still have issues with some of the logical thinking required, but it's slowly getting better. I can see my progress, and it's amazing to think about. I wish I could get this training over with faster than it will actually happen. I'm really excited to be an instructor.

I guess that's all that's going on in my life right now. I can't really think of anything else worth mentioning. I should keep this updated more often, I really enjoy looking back on it. I can see how much I've grown emotionally just with the Morgan crap.

I love you Morgan. Too bad for you. I have given up on it, and probably won't ever think about it again. You're my best friend in the whole world, and I would do anything for you.

Well after a few days of repeating lessons, I've finally come out on top again. I'm currently waiting for my step 4a stage check to be scheduled.

I guess this is a stage check to help break up the FAA instrument flight a little bit. There is a lot of information required to memorize, and this breaks it into two checks. However- some of the items I have been required to become proficient at, seem to be little or no use in practical IFR flight. I'm not the kind of person who will do something just for the sake of doing it. There needs to be purpose, and function to it. I lack to see the purpose of some of these items. To my dismay, it's costing me a lot of money to learn them too.

Oh well. Hopefully I can get this part over with, and get into the real IFR flying. The next step for me will include actual IFR flights, and flights to other airports. I'll be shooting approaches, and talking with ATC, all them shenanigans. So I'm pretty excited to get to that.

The school has picked up a lot of students as of late. The August classes I think are about 30 people. They're expecting another 30 in September too. This is good news for CFI's. Which will be good news for me in a few months. Right now we have about 180 students, and only about 20 instructors. That leaves about 9 students per instructor. Which is a lot for one instructor. Hopefully that ratio doesn't decrease too much by the time I finally make it to instructing. If they hire too many CFI's, the ratio will go down to about 2-3 students per instructor, which means it takes a lot longer to complete your contract with the school. I'm not excited about staying here longer than a few years.

Right now I'm trying to stay focused on my end goal. Getting paid to fly, to do something that I love. It's been a long winding road so far, and I have lost sight of my goal a few times. My advice for anyone, stay the course. It's easier to stay on task, and celebrate at the end, then to take a break when you think you need it.

Till we meet again.